My Prayer

I grew up in an environment, where Prayer was an important aspect of life.  Morning prayers and evening prayers.  In evening prayers, all the family members sit together and recite stotras, sing bhajans and finally do Aarti..  Only later I realised that how powerful these sessions were, as they provided strong bonding among the family members.  Our lives were centred around our temples.  Ours is a community, fled Goa during the Portuguese persecution, and settled in different villages in Kerala, and Karnataka.  Going back in history, our community is originally from the Indus Valley, flourished on the banks of Saraswati river and had to move eastward and southward and found home in Goa.  I belong to a community that got worst affected by the persecutions by the invaders, both Europeans and Moghuls.  Fled from the Indus Valley to Goa, and from there fleeing to neighbouring states Karnataka, Maharashtra and Kerala, to protect our culture and customs.  The history says, our ancestors held tight on to the customs and culture, in spite of the cruelty and hardships they faced.  Prayer was and is pervasive and an important aspect of that culture.  

During the days of my growing up, have seen and practiced many manifestations of prayers, viz., meditations, different kinds of pujas, havans, participation in temple rituals and ceremonies etc.  All events at home always started with prayer.  Somehow, I was very inquisitive about the prayer itself.  I always saw a ‘purpose’ in most prayers.  Before the exams, praying for easy recall of whatever learnt, to get good marks etc.  Before start of living in a new house, havans and pujas are done to purify the house.  Though wedding is a social event, the social ceremonies are interwoven with prayers.  Before a football or cricket match, fans supporting the teams pray for the success of their teams.  As only one team can win, not sure about the fate of the prayer of the other team! Then there are promises, promising something to the god such as doing some specific acts / visiting some specific temples / monuments / places etc., if desired result comes out.  

Though I tried to read scriptures and understand the ‘essence of prayer’, could not find a convincing answer.  I just went with the flow. Prayed the way everyone prayed. Did the rituals and ceremonies as everyone in the family and the community did.  Participated in temple events and festivals, as all others did.  But still, there was a lack of comfort.  In early 70s, I got an opportunity to briefly interact with Swami Chinmayananda.  I was a volunteer in a ‘Gita Jnana Yajna’ swamiji was conducting in Trivandrum.  It was a knowledge sharing discourse for about 7 days.  In the mornings, Swamiji used to interact with people whoever comes to visit him.  One day, Swamiji had an interaction with the volunteers (including me).  He asked each one of us to ask one question, which possibly he will try to answer.  I took that as an opportunity to ask the question which was bothering me for quite some time.  I asked Swamiji, “What is Prayer”? In his own characteristic style, he told me first that he was happy that this question was asked.  Here is the essence of what Swamiji said.  “Prayer is nothing but ‘Surrender’; surrender your ego, surrender yourself.  Irrespective of the physical rituals, get to a mindset of complete surrender.  In a prayer, nothing is asked, and no promises are made.  Prayer is not a barter system, where you ask the God your desires and you give in cash and kind for the fulfilment of those desires.  Do have faith in ‘God’, all pervasive god. And whatever comes in life, accept it with ‘faith’ that whatever happens is for your good.  Also, there is nothing like 'God fearing'; it should be 'God loving'..”.  

This answer from Swami Chinmayananda has not only given me THE answer to my question, but also sowed a seed in my mind on the way I started looking at Prayer in general and my ‘faith in God’ in particular.  It was not that easy for me to transform myself to a different thinking in my spiritual journey.  It was a struggle, and the transformation was not easy.  Over a period of time, I stopped asking anything in my prayers. I started accepting whatever comes in my life with smile, without any questions as ‘Why Me”.  Now I consider this event [interaction with Swami Chinmayananda] as something that was preparing me to face difficult challenges in life.

I get amused by how the ‘belief in god’ or ‘faith in god’ is generally practised by people around.  Most prayers seems to be barter systems.  In order to change the consequences of some events in life, people resort to mystic topics such as astrology and associated rituals, to change the consequences.  I started wondering how can people resort to such things, if they have ‘faith’ in god. Isn’t that a manifestation of ‘lack of faith’ in god, where by all means people try to change the consequences, and reward god with cash and kind? Sad to see that such ritualistic manifestations are on increase and spiritualistic practices are on decline.  

I love going to few temples, our rebuilt ancestral temples in Goa and our village temples in Kerala, where I have not seen any discriminations of any kind.  I become uncomfortable when I see people paying money (officially) to cut short the queues to idols.  Isn’t it temples are sacred places, where everyone should be considered equal?  I go to temples primarily to get feel for our culture, architecture, art, and feel the positivity.  Of course food too.  The food that we get during annual festivals days in our village temples in Kerala is awesome!

Coming back to the topic.  The strong ‘faith’ in God, manifested as ‘whatever God gives me is the best for me’ approach has immensely helped me to be happy in life, and also made me to face difficult challenges.  There were many occasions in life, where I would have collapsed otherwise.   That piece of advise from Swami Chinmayananda, is still the guiding principle of my spiritual journey.  Surrendering the self, NO bartering with God and practicing as simple life style as possible are the three pillars of my spiritual journey, in which prayer is pervasive and implicit.  In that process, I see myself drifting away from many meaningless rituals and ceremonies, and moving towards more inner peace.