My Good Morning Messages of March

As indicated in one of my previous posts, I used to create Good Morning messages focussing persons with intellectual disabilities, their parents and volunteers working with them.  These messages are posted daily in a group of persons with special needs, parents, and volunteers.  Here are the messages created for the month of March.  

The copy on the messages are not mine, taken from different sources.  I did make changes to some of them.  I just created the cards, with relevant background and imagery, primarily to inspire people working with persons with special needs.  

I thoroughly enjoyed creating them.  I did miss 4 days; an improvement over 5 misses in the month of February.  

A celebration with a difference

Last week we celebrated my father's 90th Birthday.  We call it 'Navati' celebrations.  This is the first celebration we organised for my father in life.  We kept it very simple and informal.  We didn't have any decorations.  It was at our house, as it is.  We didn't follow any 'modern traditions' such as cake cutting, passing on a piece of cake in a dozen mouths, clapping and singing the most famous song etc.  I feel, such formal modern traditions make events very mechanical ones, and personal touch is lost.   Personally, I am very uncomfortable with those 'modern traditions'.

Me, my wife and my sisters did all the arrangements.  As my father loves and enjoys puja, we did a small puja at home.  Also, we invited few people whom we felt he would love to meet and talk to.  As his mobility outside is limited, we felt we will invite people home, who would love meeting him and speaking to him.  It was overwhelming to see his brother and nephew came with their wives came all the way from our village in Kerala. That touched us in general and him in particular.

Most people we invited came, had chat with my father and all of us, and had traditional snacks we arranged.  At the end of the day he was excited and felt very happy.  

All his Grand daughters came from distant places.  Grand sons couldn't make it, for which he felt a bit sad.   Most of our friends and relatives we invited came and we had a nice time with them. 

Our driver came up unexpectedly with a shawl and touched my father's feet. That touched all of us.   My father's eyes filled with tears.  

Overall, the day was very satisfying for my father and all of us. His energy levels were very high throughout the day.   Most people who came told us that it was very emotional and touching moments for them too.  Those words are enough for us for delight and satisfaction.

Here are few more pics.

My Good Morning Messages of Feb

Most of us are WhatsApp users. Just users or addicts? 

WhatsApp has simplified communication, even for not so tech-savvy people.  Now each one is a member of at least half a dozen groups.  Some are family groups, some are work related.  I used to get annoyed with the same posts being forwarded in almost all the groups.  At times, a message that you forward comes back to you in seconds!  This reminds me of an old saying "You get what you give" :)

I do get annoyed with these innumerable good morning messages that we get in different groups.  They are all advises and quotes.  I tend to believe that those who send such advises / posts, do practice them in life.  But few instances of interaction with the people who send the advises, revealed that many of them don't even bother to read those posts, but just forward.  I don't know what to call such attitudes!

Couple of months back I too decided to get into this good morning posts bandwagon.  But NO FORWARDS..  I chose a group with parents and volunteers of 'persons with intellectual disabilities' and everyday I created a card with quotes related to different aspects of 'persons with intellectual disabilities', and posted in the group everyday morning.  I kept getting responses once in a while.  Messages on the card are created by me.  But I created the background (using images in public domain), that goes with the chosen messages.  

I thoroughly enjoyed creating them.  I did miss 5 days in February.   Here are all the cards I created in February.  

A Competition with a Message

Last Sunday I witnessed a unique competition.  It was "Cook for Change Challenge", a cooking competition for intellectually challenged persons.  My daughter was also a participant.  There were 7 teams of 2 participants each and one person to support them.  

It was not ‘yet another’ competition, primarily because, all the participants were happy, relaxed, enjoying cooking and never bothered about the outcome.  I don’t think we can find such ambiance and attitude in any other competition.  These are the days of too many reality shows and competitions.  During the shows, cameras focus on parents and supporter's faces to highlight the tensions and anxieties.  Also the anchors do their best to make the participants tense.  May be they need it to raise their TRPs.   Only in competition like “Cook for Change Challenge", we can see relaxed, happy participants who enjoy what they do.  

Isn’t it we the so called “Normal” people have to learn a lot from persons with intellectual disabilities? Whenever I see many good morning advise posts in WhatsApp Inbox, I felt I don’t need them. I am seeing most of those good and noble habits demonstrated ‘live’ by my daughter and the persons with special needs with whom I interact almost every other day.   

When the prizes were announced and the participants went to stage to collect certificates / prizes from the dignitaries, it was all smiles on their faces, irrespective of whether they won or not.  In any competition we use to say “Participation is what is important and not winning”.  We see it ‘live’ here.  In most other competitions we see high negativity through jealousy, anger, desperation etc. etc.  

I’m very happy that the team in which my daughter was a member, won the competition, and got good reviews of what they cooked.  I don’t think, both the team members could comprehend what is “First Prize” or being “Champions”.  My daughter enjoy attention from others.  So for her, being with dignitaries on the stage and chatting with them was yet another opportunity to get attention from everyone round.  I don’t think she understood that her team topped and won the competition.  The winning “Wow” is for the other “Normal” people who supports the team, and not for the team members.  

The way the world around us is evolving into more and more competitive, and it’s becoming almost impossible for us to ‘learn’ from what the ‘persons with intellectual dis(?)abilities’ demonstrate through their lives.  The state of the society as a whole is such that it is very difficult to have osmosis of the ‘right’ habits to the ‘normal’ us.  

So I wonder who is ‘disabled’?  An inclusive society where people from one end to the other of the ‘ability spectrum’ live together, only can make the world more meaningful and fair to everyone.  

I would like to complement the Veruschka Foundation for organising the “Cook for Change Challenge”, thereby giving a strong message to the world for a more inclusive society.  Three cheers to Veruschka Foundation!!!

Participants in the competition

Picture Curtsey: The Cook For Change Challenge FB page

My Prayer

I grew up in an environment, where Prayer was an important aspect of life.  Morning prayers and evening prayers.  In evening prayers, all the family members sit together and recite stotras, sing bhajans and finally do Aarti..  Only later I realised that how powerful these sessions were, as they provided strong bonding among the family members.  Our lives were centred around our temples.  Ours is a community, fled Goa during the Portuguese persecution, and settled in different villages in Kerala, and Karnataka.  Going back in history, our community is originally from the Indus Valley, flourished on the banks of Saraswati river and had to move eastward and southward and found home in Goa.  I belong to a community that got worst affected by the persecutions by the invaders, both Europeans and Moghuls.  Fled from the Indus Valley to Goa, and from there fleeing to neighbouring states Karnataka, Maharashtra and Kerala, to protect our culture and customs.  The history says, our ancestors held tight on to the customs and culture, in spite of the cruelty and hardships they faced.  Prayer was and is pervasive and an important aspect of that culture.  

During the days of my growing up, have seen and practiced many manifestations of prayers, viz., meditations, different kinds of pujas, havans, participation in temple rituals and ceremonies etc.  All events at home always started with prayer.  Somehow, I was very inquisitive about the prayer itself.  I always saw a ‘purpose’ in most prayers.  Before the exams, praying for easy recall of whatever learnt, to get good marks etc.  Before start of living in a new house, havans and pujas are done to purify the house.  Though wedding is a social event, the social ceremonies are interwoven with prayers.  Before a football or cricket match, fans supporting the teams pray for the success of their teams.  As only one team can win, not sure about the fate of the prayer of the other team! Then there are promises, promising something to the god such as doing some specific acts / visiting some specific temples / monuments / places etc., if desired result comes out.  

Though I tried to read scriptures and understand the ‘essence of prayer’, could not find a convincing answer.  I just went with the flow. Prayed the way everyone prayed. Did the rituals and ceremonies as everyone in the family and the community did.  Participated in temple events and festivals, as all others did.  But still, there was a lack of comfort.  In early 70s, I got an opportunity to briefly interact with Swami Chinmayananda.  I was a volunteer in a ‘Gita Jnana Yajna’ swamiji was conducting in Trivandrum.  It was a knowledge sharing discourse for about 7 days.  In the mornings, Swamiji used to interact with people whoever comes to visit him.  One day, Swamiji had an interaction with the volunteers (including me).  He asked each one of us to ask one question, which possibly he will try to answer.  I took that as an opportunity to ask the question which was bothering me for quite some time.  I asked Swamiji, “What is Prayer”? In his own characteristic style, he told me first that he was happy that this question was asked.  Here is the essence of what Swamiji said.  “Prayer is nothing but ‘Surrender’; surrender your ego, surrender yourself.  Irrespective of the physical rituals, get to a mindset of complete surrender.  In a prayer, nothing is asked, and no promises are made.  Prayer is not a barter system, where you ask the God your desires and you give in cash and kind for the fulfilment of those desires.  Do have faith in ‘God’, all pervasive god. And whatever comes in life, accept it with ‘faith’ that whatever happens is for your good.  Also, there is nothing like 'God fearing'; it should be 'God loving'..”.  

This answer from Swami Chinmayananda has not only given me THE answer to my question, but also sowed a seed in my mind on the way I started looking at Prayer in general and my ‘faith in God’ in particular.  It was not that easy for me to transform myself to a different thinking in my spiritual journey.  It was a struggle, and the transformation was not easy.  Over a period of time, I stopped asking anything in my prayers. I started accepting whatever comes in my life with smile, without any questions as ‘Why Me”.  Now I consider this event [interaction with Swami Chinmayananda] as something that was preparing me to face difficult challenges in life.

I get amused by how the ‘belief in god’ or ‘faith in god’ is generally practised by people around.  Most prayers seems to be barter systems.  In order to change the consequences of some events in life, people resort to mystic topics such as astrology and associated rituals, to change the consequences.  I started wondering how can people resort to such things, if they have ‘faith’ in god. Isn’t that a manifestation of ‘lack of faith’ in god, where by all means people try to change the consequences, and reward god with cash and kind? Sad to see that such ritualistic manifestations are on increase and spiritualistic practices are on decline.  

I love going to few temples, our rebuilt ancestral temples in Goa and our village temples in Kerala, where I have not seen any discriminations of any kind.  I become uncomfortable when I see people paying money (officially) to cut short the queues to idols.  Isn’t it temples are sacred places, where everyone should be considered equal?  I go to temples primarily to get feel for our culture, architecture, art, and feel the positivity.  Of course food too.  The food that we get during annual festivals days in our village temples in Kerala is awesome!

Coming back to the topic.  The strong ‘faith’ in God, manifested as ‘whatever God gives me is the best for me’ approach has immensely helped me to be happy in life, and also made me to face difficult challenges.  There were many occasions in life, where I would have collapsed otherwise.   That piece of advise from Swami Chinmayananda, is still the guiding principle of my spiritual journey.  Surrendering the self, NO bartering with God and practicing as simple life style as possible are the three pillars of my spiritual journey, in which prayer is pervasive and implicit.  In that process, I see myself drifting away from many meaningless rituals and ceremonies, and moving towards more inner peace.  

What is "NORMAL"?

I have been hearing the term “NORMAL” in the context of referring to people other than those having special needs. And those with special needs are referred to as “SPECIAL”.  Even I too refer that way.  After working closely with few individuals with special needs during past few years, I start wondering who is “NORMAL” and who is “SPECIAL”.  

People who always worry about what others will think of them, are they “NORMAL”?  The “SPECIAL” ones never bother about what others think of them.

People who treat others based on their religion, cast, class in society, are they “NORMAL”? The “SPECIAL” ones have no idea about religion, caste and creed.

People who treat others with biases, are they “NORMAL”? The “SPECIAL” ones love everyone the same way.

People who consider some types of work as ‘low’, are they “NORMAL”? The “SPECIAL” ones consider all types of work with same respect.  We learn ‘Dignity of labour’ from them.

People who impose etiquettes originated from certain cultures, are thy “NORMAL”? The “SPECIAL” ones behave what they are comfortable with.  As far as it doesn’t hurt others physically or their behaviour doesn’t become vulgar, why should we force them to behave in a manner which a certain group of people feel ‘correct’.   

These days most of us keep getting good morning messages in WhatsApp groups, with advises, quotes, good practices etc. etc.  People who just forward such messages (at times very biased / sceptical), are they “NORMAL”?  When I analyse the actions of those people considering the meaning of such messages from them, they don’t go together. 

These days I have stopped watching news channels in TV, also hardly read news papers, as it is very difficult to differentiate between ‘news’ and ‘stories’. Those who propagates stories in the name of ‘news’, are they “NORMAL”?

People often play mind games and hit below the belt to those with whom they act as if they are very ‘close’.  Are they “NORMAL”?

I have no problem calling those with special needs “SPECIAL”.  But I have problem, calling everyone else “NORMAL”.