Seeds of values...

In my first post I have mentioned that there are quite a few people influenced me in my life, and I wrote about Swami Chinmayananda.  In this post, I am writing about another person who has influenced me most in evolving values in my life.  He is none other than my paternal grandfather Shri Govinda Kamath.  He left this world just a week before my SSLC results came, that too lying in my lap. 

His love towards us (the grand children) was phenomenal.  In those days, where children and grand children use to have a sense of 'fear' when dealing with elderly at home, we were at very ease with our grand parents.  What struck me the most was the way he celebrated his birthdays.  When most elderly people in the neighbourhood celebrated their birthdays by conducting special pujas and havans, my grandfather used to invite visible gods, the tribals living in our village (ullaadans) and feed them till they said 'enough'.  There must be close to 40 - 50 tribal men and women come home on his birthdays, and we prepare porridge (kanji) and lentils (payar) for them.  Each one was given handful of coconut oil, that they immediately put on their head.  A towel (thorth) was also given to each person.  I haven't seen such a gesture happening during those days in our neighbourhood.  This has influenced me a lot. It doesn't mean that he was not a religious person.  He was indeed a religious person, but he had his priorities set based on the values he believed in.  I learnt that, feeding the needy is the biggest havan that one can perform.

My Grandfather Shri Govinda Kamath

To me he was a 'visionary' and his 'vision' shaped our (his grand children's) lives.  'Educating us' was on top of his mind, that too educating in a field, that he felt we are good at.  He and my father didn't have much resources for giving us the best education.  When a dance class was started near our house, my grandmother felt that my sisters should learn dance.  It may look 'normal' these days.  But in those days, sending girls from a conservative family as ours, to learn dance was 'unacceptable'.  There were quite a few murmurs from many 'well-wishers'.  But my grandmother stood adamant and grandfather strongly supported her.  When they realised that 'dance' is 'the passion' for my elder sister, my grandfather took a bold step of sending her to 'Kerala Kalamandalam' for a 4 year diploma course in dance.  The rest is history.  She rose to the eminence of being conferred the coveted Sangit Natak Academy Puraskar in 2004 for classical dance, which she received from the then president Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam.  I consider this as my grand father's vision and strength to wean away social nuisance created by so called 'moral preachers' in society.  Yes, my parents strongly supported him in realising his vision.  The initiative that my grandmother took, in spite of she being completely 'uneducated', has taken my sister to highest level of eminence in her chosen field.  My grandmother left us very early, when I was just about 12 years old. 

My Grandmother Smt Lakshmi Bai

My grandfather was also instrumental in sending my second sister for Homeopathy degree.  She enjoyed practicing homeopathy till her wedding.  But post-wedding, the attitude of 'women from our family are not supposed go for work', forced her to discontinue her practice and killed many talents that she had.  What my grandfather dreamt, did not happen.   Do we just relegate this to 'fate'? Is it fair?

I believe, taking right decisions at right time is an attribute of a visionary.  The initiatives and decisions he took at right time has made me what I am today.  When I was in 9th standard, the situation at my home reached to such a bad state that I couldn't focus on studies.  My parents too were helpless.  Realising the situation, my grandfather spoke to my maternal grandmother and with her consent requested my maternal uncle to take me with him for the sake of my studies.  He felt, I can focus on my studies if I stay away from home.  He took me to Trivandrum, came with me to school for admission, took me and introduced me to his nephews and ensured that I will not have much problems there. This movement to Trivandrum was a major turning point in my life.  I believe, this is an example of how each decisions can make or break one's life.  

He was an avid reader.  He used to get books from a local library and used to read a lot (of course, Malayalam books).   He used to take me to the library often, which might be one reason for my love for books.  He used to take me to most of the places he used to visit (in mid 60s); tell me about those places etc.  Long trips were mainly on boats to places like guruvayur, kodungallur, kochi, Ernakulam etc.  Only now I realise the value of the conversation I used to have with him during those trips.  Yes, they helped me shape my thoughts. 

Many events and incidences in one's early life plays a major role in shaping up ones beliefs, values, thoughts and mindsets.  I was fortunate enough to have a grandfather, whose vision and timely initiatives, decisions, actions and practices have sowed the seeds of right values such as intellectual honesty, rational and logical thinking / analysis, not to have blind faiths, compassion towards underprivileged etc. in me.  I do make lots of mistakes in life and get into difficult situations.  I do things which many of my close ones and relatives don't like or can't adjust with.  But, I am trying to do what I feel right.  Most times I succeed, and many times I fail.  The seeds of values sowed in me by people such as my grandfather helps me a lot to face such failures and come out of difficult situations, at times with success, and at times with failure.  Yes, that's life. One can't always succeed in anything and everything.  But I am contented, and no worries most of the times.